Peter

So Peetie comes up to me; right in my face and says, " you wanna piece of this speckled-mug?" This kid is killing me!

Ra de ra de ra de ra, sir

Last night we had friends over for dinner and right beofre we sat down James disappeared into his bedroom and returned dressed as a proper waiter. He had buttoned up his shirt and put a white towel over his arm. He then poured beverages, fetched condiments and tried to eat in the kitchen away from the rest of us. We began to do waiter-jokes and James answered the old "Waiter, what is that fly doing my soup?" with a perfect Jeeves accent: "I believe it is the backstroke, sir". Hilarious. We also had a 'grace' competition so our meal was truly (and repeatedly) blessed. Who says hospitality is a lost art?

James Window Display Poster

It is James' turn to have his window display at school and he wrote captions under each photo on his poster. Mostly, he just named who was in the photo, but in the very middle of the poster he wrote: James - a special boy in a special world. Give me an awwwwww!

Soapbox: Bikers

What is so great about biking around anyway? It doesn't mean you're a better person. And I bet bikers do their fair share of damage to the planet in other ways. So what's up with them glaring at motorists like we don't deserve to even be on the road where they are? They don't follow their own stupid traffic rules and then look at you like you did something wrong. Like they are the 'special ones' and should be yielded to at all times. Uppity, speedo-wannabe-wearing-stuck-up jerks.

Soapbox: Voting in the Primary

I hope you voted in the primary yesterday. Why is it that people who vote in the primary get so smug; kind of like the person in front of you at checkout who takes forever to find exact change? Or the person who gives a penny with a $20 so they can get all paper money back. Does voting in the primary make you a better person than everyone else? Why do we need to get a 'cookie' for these little things? If you voted in the primary - good for you and by all means, have a cookie. But make sure you are encouraging others to exercise the hard-won power of being involved in the system. It's your right, your duty and your privilege.

A great life

Peetie told me he is having a really great life except for two things; one is when he cracked his head open and they glued it shut at the hospital, two is his brother picking on him. Other than that, he is having the best life EVER. Go Peetie.

Some Favorite Laughs of Mine

"Who had Taco Bell?" Kate



"Look, there's a deer!" Joan, Anne & Kris (bitches!)



"For all rotten potato chips, these are pretty good." Ra



"Blimey, I lost me flock!" Me



Grandpa Lloyd: "I have a great voice for radio and I annunciate clearly so it's easy for people to understand what I am saying."

Me: "Huh?"

Grandpa Lloyd: " I said, I have a great voice for radio and I annunciate clearly so it's easy for people to understand me!"

Me: "What?"

Grandpa Lloyd: " I SAID, I HAVE A GREAT VOI... oh, you stinker!"



Binging my nose so hard it made the Moberly's trailer sound like a Cathedral. Anne



Tripping down the stairs in the townhouse. Dave



Slipping on the ice in Lutsen and landing on her ass, but saving her cigarette. Joan



Hollering "Blowjob!" into a speaker phone with a car full of kids listening. Me



Using black electrical tape on the sink sprayer and nailing my mom twice in one day. Me So worth it!

Sexury

No, Dubya didn't coin this one; this is a new Peetieism. Peetie was talking about his cousin who got married today and he announced, with a giggle, "They must be having sexury now". Being the curious type, I asked him what that meant. As always, he shot me a look of "I can't believe how many things I have to explain to you", but was too busy giggling to give it more thought. "Sexury" he said, "is when the man's weenie sticks out straight and he is wearing shorts and the girl is wearing a bikini and they lie down and rub their legs together."

Peals of laughter followed this explanation, with James chiming in wholeheartedly.

"Bikini?", I asked. "

"Yes, and it is all jiggly", he replied.

More maniacal laughter.

"And the man wears sunglasses or glasses with the brown glass in them", he added.

After a final burst of gut-busting guffawing, the conversation shifted to admiring James' latest subject-changing "butt burp". For once, I welcomed it.

Say it isn't so

Here are some dumb Minnesota laws I found on one of those 'Dumb Law' sites:

• The land of 10,000 lakes declares mosquitos a public nuisance. (Seriously)
• It is illegal to stand around any building without a good reason to be there. (Okay)
• A person may not cross state lines with a duck atop his head. (Imunna do this one!)
• It is illegal to sleep naked. (boo)
• All men driving motorcycles must wear shirts. (boo)
• Citizens may not enter Wisconsin with a chicken on their head. (This one, too!)
• Oral sex is prohibited. ( )
• All bathtubs must have feet. (I'm in trouble here!)

Lifesavers

Okay - everyone that knows me has heard my lament about the lack of availability of lifesavers in rolls in all the yummy flavors. Also, the fact that they now come in little individual cellophane packs with one lifesaver on 'roids'. Who says bitching doesn't pay off? My fabulous friend Jules has been on the hunt for rolled lifesavers like a dog on a bone! Not only did she buy an entire box of properly rolled lifesavers at a truck stop for me ( in the only flavors they had; spear o mint and pep o mint) but today she called and informed me that the long elusive Butter Rum (my personal favorite) has been found in the gift shop at two hospitals! There is hope. The hunt continues, but in the meantime, does anyone remember Reeds? I have a thing for rolled candy.

Flip Flops

Now that flip-flop season is here, I am deep in the torture of foot-slapping shoes. I don't know why it drives me crazy. I wear them, too. People who walk in a good rhythm don't bother me. But flip-floppy shoes; especially the ones with high heels... it looks like they are going to fall over any minute and it makes me nervous. I also get a sense of vulnerability with the high heeled ones. Too easy to get knocked over and lose your grounding. I don't like being outside at night in them. I once watched my niece race her Dad wearing flip flops - really race her Dad - and beat him. He was wearing running shoes and is not a slow runner. I was truly impressed with that. What kind of crazy strong feet can keep flip-flops on and run like that? Do men resent that women can go practically barefoot in the working world while they still wear socks and shoes? I haven't seen any 'mandals' where I work. I'm grateful for that.

Lost

So I'm a little behind, but I just started watching Lost. I am half way through season one and sort of glad I didn't have the agony of waiting for every new episode! For those of you years ahead of me (except for Kate); why didn't you tell me this was so good? I am blown away by the complex story lines and just the whole frickin concept of it. Don't tell me anything - just give me the knowing nod and smile.

Her Honor, the Incredimom

So all in one day I received confirmation of becoming an election judge AND helped James whip out a project that he knew about six weeks ago but told me of last night. He went to sleep with a peaceful smile and all his homework completed by 10pm. I ruled.
Seriously. Get it? OMG I can be so good at this sometimes!

It's not easy being green

Okay, the big goal is to mow the law with the push mower all summer; my attempt to do something good for the world. And my upper arms. And my cardio needs. Holy cow my arms hurt but the lawn looks great and I didn't need to protect my ears. Someone actually slowed down their car to look at me while I was mowing. Weird.

Self-Control

I was lying awake last night listening to James cuss out everyone he had troubles with earlier in the day (he's always done his venting in his sleep) and I wondered: is self-control overrated? Is learning to stuff your emotions and anger in public really such a good thing? When I was listening to James I felt proud that he is developing self control but at the same time I was considering what it is costing him. And me. In sleep, at the very least. Alternatively, if we all just "let 'er rip" everytime we are frustrated or angry (whether justified or imagined) what would that encourage? I am teaching my sons "the way the world works" but there are so many exceptions. Kids can't swear, but grownups can. Kids can't have seconds on ice cream, but grownups can. Kids can't yell and scream and throw things in frustration, but grownups can. Kids should never drink to excess or smoke but when you're a grownup you are free to make any stupid decision you want and then fully experience the consequences. I would be lying if I told them you can't achieve success in relationships or careers if you're stupid or an asshole. We must look like idiots trying to get them to buy this double-standard of behavior expectations. Kids aren't stupid; they see adults as they really are. It does not escape them when they see an adult having a tantrum or driving disrespectfully or being rude or snobby or cheating (don't get me started on that one), etc. And even worse is when grownups are rude and disrespectful at home and when they speak about friends and family. And then expect kids not to do it? Ouch. Kids have you under their microscope and don't ever think they don't really know who you are. So I'm over-thinking this whole self-control thing when this saying came into my morning email:

When you live in reaction, you give your power away. Then you get to experience what you gave your power to. — N. Smith

N. Smith reminded me why self-control isn't about stuffing emotions or allowing others to hurt or take advantage of you. Or being phoney or false to yourself. It's not even about making the world a 'pleasant place' for everyone to dwell. It's much deeper and more personal. When you do not use some retraint over your reactions you are giving your power away. It's who you become. You are giving away your power of choice; your ability to define yourself. So, is self-control really self-preservation? I think I'm on to something here.

Favorite Mothers Day Gifts

• A card addressed to : The One Who Gave Me Brith" from Sara
• A birthday card from Steve.
• Lovey notes from the boys with hearts and flowers.
• Kate lying on the couch being incredibly attentive when it was costing her much discomfort AND she wrapped presents for me AND she listened to all my babbling and showing her stupid stuff.
• James making a Ring Toss game out of Knex for me when he was in his bedroom for a timeout and could have spent the time pouting. Also, he picked up some raw onion from the floor, got the taste in his mouth and was just fine with it!
• Ra - taking the solo at her concert in St. Croix Falls on Saturday and singing it to me. A soul stirring moment. She also called me Sunday night and listened to my ridiculous babbling. My girls are so good.
• Peetie - spending so much time decorating the paper bag for his homemadey gift that he didn't have time to finish the gift. The bag is a yellow and black plaid that must have taken a long time to do.
• The outer-space-looking purple/blue hydrangeas from my boys.
• The cool bird bath that's on its' way.
• My mom opening her gifts like she's never gotten any before. She also threw me an unexpected compliment; she called me "such a good shopper". I'll take that.
• A delicious rib dinner with potato salad to rival mine. Topped off with a Baileys Chocolate Mousse (prononced "moose-say" according to Peetie) cake. James trying the penne pasta and chowing it down; AND corn on the cob, AND ice cream. He said, " I don't think I've ever eaten so much in my life!" He was relaxed and happy about food.
• Watching the Survivor finale with Unkie.
• My annual phone call from Fran - we share motherhood in a way only we understand.

I am embarrassingly spoiled.

Politics

Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.

- Oscar Wilde

sit on my facebook

OMG. If you like Stephen Fry at all; or over-weight, verbose, self-absorbed charming middle-aged British men, listen to his free podcasts accessible from itunes. The title of this blog is my favorite line from his 3rd broadcast.

What I think about

I had to write this for a class at school. I like having a measuring stick that I created myself. Accountability. It's harsh, but I like it.

Code of Ethics

1. Be a faithful steward of myself, the world and all who are in it – act, knowing that everything I do affects the world. Acknowledge my responsibility and assume ownership of the impact I have here.
2. Respect, embrace, welcome differences. Letter from a Birmingham Jail April 16, 1963. Dr. Martin Luther King “We will have to repent in this generation not merely for the vitriolic words and actions of the bad people, but for the appalling silence of the good people.” “Appalling silence” is barely tolerant, and, I believe, not enough. My voice is my power to influence change. I believe that whether I am acting, speaking or silent, I am still participating. I must welcome others as I would wish to be welcomed.
3. Respect, embrace and welcome my mistakes and misfortunes. Admit when I am wrong, make amends if I can, eat my humble pie a-la-mode and help others do the same. Do not fear difficulties, rather, accept the lessons they teach me.
4. Listen. This means more than being silent, it means quieting my mind. Strive to keep my own thoughts and responses at bay and truly focus on what is being communicated. Remember that voices are not the only sounds I must listen to and strive to hear; silence can also speak. The earth has a voice impossible to describe, but it is rich in wisdom that can only be heard in silence.
5. Be faithful to provide encouragement. Encourage people– show more faith than I have – people can be energized and influenced by a positive expectation.
6. Believe in hope and nurture it everywhere - to take away hope is to leave nothing but despair – it kills the soul – there is nothing worse. Hope is the foundation of tenacity, perseverance, and refusing to accept limitations. Hope is the belief in possibilities beyond what I can imagine.

My joy

The four most amazing creatures.

sentimental boy

After a rough evening of parenting, the boys were finally in bed and I was washing dishes. James slowly padded out of his room , came up behind me at the sink and put his arms around me. "Thanks for being such a good mom when I'm being a brat" he said. "You're welcome honey, now back to bed", I replied.

A few moments later, he returned, hugged me again and said, "Thanks for giving me life and stuff". He turned and went back to his room before I could say anything and it didn't seem necessary to say anything. Smiles, tears and dishwater mix very well together.

Agile Viscosity

The boys asked me what "molasses" is and I told them it's like syrup only much thicker and slower. Then Peetie says, "Oh, well then it's viscous. It has viscous properties". Earlier that day we were watching James climb a tree and Peetie said, "He has great agility to be able to do that."
Between his vocabulary and his expertise at making fart noises, this kid has it made.

You'll only get this if you know us well

From: lowercase
Sent: Thursday, February 21, 2008 11:21 AM
To: Kate
Subject: Omigod am I stupid

I needed to divide 144 by 12 and I kept punching the numbers harder and harder thinking my calculator was broken until I figured out that 12 times 12 is 144. I am so incredibly stupid and I can't stop laughing…..

From: Kate
Sent: Thursday, February 21, 2008 11:21 AM
To: lowercase
Subject: RE: Omigod am I stupid

Hahahahahahhaha! RTARD!

From: lowercase
Sent: Thursday, February 21, 2008 11:22 AM
To: Kate
Subject: RE: Omigod am I stupid

who had taco bell?

snap!

From: Kate
Sent: Thursday, February 21, 2008 11:23 AM
To: lowercase
Subject: RE: Omigod am I stupid

\^/

(that's my hands making the 'whatever sign')

From: lowercase
Sent: Thursday, February 21, 2008 11:28 AM
To: Kate
Subject: RE: Omigod am I stupid

That's all I had. But it was good at the moment.

hmmmm...

Time is a created thing. To say 'I don't have time,' is like saying, 'I don't want to.'
— Lao-Tzu

da beavs

I just returned from the beavers annual weekend "up nort". I am part of a group of women who are willing to love each other. The kind of love I mean is the kind that creates a place for you to feel safe and free to be yourself without reservation or fear of rejection or criticism or anything bad. I suppose, ideally, that that place should be in your family. Like that really happens. But even with the little mishaps and irritations that all groups encounter, in the end, we all chose to make the connection to and acceptance of each other more important than anything else.

So what did I do? I ate well, slept well, laughed until it hurt. I listened to a 97-year-old grandma named Yaya have a phone conversation with her 39-year-old granddaughter. Yaya called her "sweetie" and was so excited to hear that she had just learned how to knit. They ended the call in greek love words that made me cry. I heard of plans and choices for making life better that will make things rough for awhile and I was impressed by the bravery and resolve there. I heard about physical problems that sobered my thoughts and gave me perspective. I saw the letting go of problems and burdens and the unleashed joy that launched in its' place. I saw some crazy-ass pole dancing that is hard to describe. And someone discovered it's easy to knit when you're drunk. Who knew? I watched a man lock eyes with his wife of eight years and play "their song" on his violin with the tenderest notes of love I have ever heard. A second marriage for both, five kids between them and several 'grands', too. The way they looked at each other - the way he loved her with his music - it was indescribably moving. Is there anything better than love? The weekend ends with no magical resolutions to the problems you had before, but there is a change in how you feel about yourself and your life. Not an earth-shattering change, but more like knowing that if you get up in the night and it's really dark, the night lite will be there for you.

one more thing

Yesterday at work, the person that trained me in on a database asked for my help with the same database. Damn, that felt good. I'm going to keep that in my pocket for a long time. And I'm going to stop writing only about my kids on this blog. Stay tuned.

there and back again

I offered my sniffing-snotting James some medicine to dry up his nose so he could get some sleep. Peetie chimed in with, "But then his boogers will be all dry and he'll eat 'em!" "No", said James. "I don't like the crunchy ones." As they discussed the relative textures of boogers, I realized I hadn't blogged in a long time.