Lost

So I'm a little behind, but I just started watching Lost. I am half way through season one and sort of glad I didn't have the agony of waiting for every new episode! For those of you years ahead of me (except for Kate); why didn't you tell me this was so good? I am blown away by the complex story lines and just the whole frickin concept of it. Don't tell me anything - just give me the knowing nod and smile.

Her Honor, the Incredimom

So all in one day I received confirmation of becoming an election judge AND helped James whip out a project that he knew about six weeks ago but told me of last night. He went to sleep with a peaceful smile and all his homework completed by 10pm. I ruled.
Seriously. Get it? OMG I can be so good at this sometimes!

It's not easy being green

Okay, the big goal is to mow the law with the push mower all summer; my attempt to do something good for the world. And my upper arms. And my cardio needs. Holy cow my arms hurt but the lawn looks great and I didn't need to protect my ears. Someone actually slowed down their car to look at me while I was mowing. Weird.

Self-Control

I was lying awake last night listening to James cuss out everyone he had troubles with earlier in the day (he's always done his venting in his sleep) and I wondered: is self-control overrated? Is learning to stuff your emotions and anger in public really such a good thing? When I was listening to James I felt proud that he is developing self control but at the same time I was considering what it is costing him. And me. In sleep, at the very least. Alternatively, if we all just "let 'er rip" everytime we are frustrated or angry (whether justified or imagined) what would that encourage? I am teaching my sons "the way the world works" but there are so many exceptions. Kids can't swear, but grownups can. Kids can't have seconds on ice cream, but grownups can. Kids can't yell and scream and throw things in frustration, but grownups can. Kids should never drink to excess or smoke but when you're a grownup you are free to make any stupid decision you want and then fully experience the consequences. I would be lying if I told them you can't achieve success in relationships or careers if you're stupid or an asshole. We must look like idiots trying to get them to buy this double-standard of behavior expectations. Kids aren't stupid; they see adults as they really are. It does not escape them when they see an adult having a tantrum or driving disrespectfully or being rude or snobby or cheating (don't get me started on that one), etc. And even worse is when grownups are rude and disrespectful at home and when they speak about friends and family. And then expect kids not to do it? Ouch. Kids have you under their microscope and don't ever think they don't really know who you are. So I'm over-thinking this whole self-control thing when this saying came into my morning email:

When you live in reaction, you give your power away. Then you get to experience what you gave your power to. — N. Smith

N. Smith reminded me why self-control isn't about stuffing emotions or allowing others to hurt or take advantage of you. Or being phoney or false to yourself. It's not even about making the world a 'pleasant place' for everyone to dwell. It's much deeper and more personal. When you do not use some retraint over your reactions you are giving your power away. It's who you become. You are giving away your power of choice; your ability to define yourself. So, is self-control really self-preservation? I think I'm on to something here.

Favorite Mothers Day Gifts

• A card addressed to : The One Who Gave Me Brith" from Sara
• A birthday card from Steve.
• Lovey notes from the boys with hearts and flowers.
• Kate lying on the couch being incredibly attentive when it was costing her much discomfort AND she wrapped presents for me AND she listened to all my babbling and showing her stupid stuff.
• James making a Ring Toss game out of Knex for me when he was in his bedroom for a timeout and could have spent the time pouting. Also, he picked up some raw onion from the floor, got the taste in his mouth and was just fine with it!
• Ra - taking the solo at her concert in St. Croix Falls on Saturday and singing it to me. A soul stirring moment. She also called me Sunday night and listened to my ridiculous babbling. My girls are so good.
• Peetie - spending so much time decorating the paper bag for his homemadey gift that he didn't have time to finish the gift. The bag is a yellow and black plaid that must have taken a long time to do.
• The outer-space-looking purple/blue hydrangeas from my boys.
• The cool bird bath that's on its' way.
• My mom opening her gifts like she's never gotten any before. She also threw me an unexpected compliment; she called me "such a good shopper". I'll take that.
• A delicious rib dinner with potato salad to rival mine. Topped off with a Baileys Chocolate Mousse (prononced "moose-say" according to Peetie) cake. James trying the penne pasta and chowing it down; AND corn on the cob, AND ice cream. He said, " I don't think I've ever eaten so much in my life!" He was relaxed and happy about food.
• Watching the Survivor finale with Unkie.
• My annual phone call from Fran - we share motherhood in a way only we understand.

I am embarrassingly spoiled.

Politics

Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.

- Oscar Wilde

sit on my facebook

OMG. If you like Stephen Fry at all; or over-weight, verbose, self-absorbed charming middle-aged British men, listen to his free podcasts accessible from itunes. The title of this blog is my favorite line from his 3rd broadcast.

What I think about

I had to write this for a class at school. I like having a measuring stick that I created myself. Accountability. It's harsh, but I like it.

Code of Ethics

1. Be a faithful steward of myself, the world and all who are in it – act, knowing that everything I do affects the world. Acknowledge my responsibility and assume ownership of the impact I have here.
2. Respect, embrace, welcome differences. Letter from a Birmingham Jail April 16, 1963. Dr. Martin Luther King “We will have to repent in this generation not merely for the vitriolic words and actions of the bad people, but for the appalling silence of the good people.” “Appalling silence” is barely tolerant, and, I believe, not enough. My voice is my power to influence change. I believe that whether I am acting, speaking or silent, I am still participating. I must welcome others as I would wish to be welcomed.
3. Respect, embrace and welcome my mistakes and misfortunes. Admit when I am wrong, make amends if I can, eat my humble pie a-la-mode and help others do the same. Do not fear difficulties, rather, accept the lessons they teach me.
4. Listen. This means more than being silent, it means quieting my mind. Strive to keep my own thoughts and responses at bay and truly focus on what is being communicated. Remember that voices are not the only sounds I must listen to and strive to hear; silence can also speak. The earth has a voice impossible to describe, but it is rich in wisdom that can only be heard in silence.
5. Be faithful to provide encouragement. Encourage people– show more faith than I have – people can be energized and influenced by a positive expectation.
6. Believe in hope and nurture it everywhere - to take away hope is to leave nothing but despair – it kills the soul – there is nothing worse. Hope is the foundation of tenacity, perseverance, and refusing to accept limitations. Hope is the belief in possibilities beyond what I can imagine.