Sexury

No, Dubya didn't coin this one; this is a new Peetieism. Peetie was talking about his cousin who got married today and he announced, with a giggle, "They must be having sexury now". Being the curious type, I asked him what that meant. As always, he shot me a look of "I can't believe how many things I have to explain to you", but was too busy giggling to give it more thought. "Sexury" he said, "is when the man's weenie sticks out straight and he is wearing shorts and the girl is wearing a bikini and they lie down and rub their legs together."

Peals of laughter followed this explanation, with James chiming in wholeheartedly.

"Bikini?", I asked. "

"Yes, and it is all jiggly", he replied.

More maniacal laughter.

"And the man wears sunglasses or glasses with the brown glass in them", he added.

After a final burst of gut-busting guffawing, the conversation shifted to admiring James' latest subject-changing "butt burp". For once, I welcomed it.

Say it isn't so

Here are some dumb Minnesota laws I found on one of those 'Dumb Law' sites:

• The land of 10,000 lakes declares mosquitos a public nuisance. (Seriously)
• It is illegal to stand around any building without a good reason to be there. (Okay)
• A person may not cross state lines with a duck atop his head. (Imunna do this one!)
• It is illegal to sleep naked. (boo)
• All men driving motorcycles must wear shirts. (boo)
• Citizens may not enter Wisconsin with a chicken on their head. (This one, too!)
• Oral sex is prohibited. ( )
• All bathtubs must have feet. (I'm in trouble here!)

Lifesavers

Okay - everyone that knows me has heard my lament about the lack of availability of lifesavers in rolls in all the yummy flavors. Also, the fact that they now come in little individual cellophane packs with one lifesaver on 'roids'. Who says bitching doesn't pay off? My fabulous friend Jules has been on the hunt for rolled lifesavers like a dog on a bone! Not only did she buy an entire box of properly rolled lifesavers at a truck stop for me ( in the only flavors they had; spear o mint and pep o mint) but today she called and informed me that the long elusive Butter Rum (my personal favorite) has been found in the gift shop at two hospitals! There is hope. The hunt continues, but in the meantime, does anyone remember Reeds? I have a thing for rolled candy.

Flip Flops

Now that flip-flop season is here, I am deep in the torture of foot-slapping shoes. I don't know why it drives me crazy. I wear them, too. People who walk in a good rhythm don't bother me. But flip-floppy shoes; especially the ones with high heels... it looks like they are going to fall over any minute and it makes me nervous. I also get a sense of vulnerability with the high heeled ones. Too easy to get knocked over and lose your grounding. I don't like being outside at night in them. I once watched my niece race her Dad wearing flip flops - really race her Dad - and beat him. He was wearing running shoes and is not a slow runner. I was truly impressed with that. What kind of crazy strong feet can keep flip-flops on and run like that? Do men resent that women can go practically barefoot in the working world while they still wear socks and shoes? I haven't seen any 'mandals' where I work. I'm grateful for that.