James couldn't sleep

We were snuggling on the bed
Staring at the flame on the oil lamp
Blowing at it
Naming the colors in the flame
James told me that prayers can ride up the smoke from the flame; that the words are spiral lines floating up to heaven. He said he had tried to pray but it didn’t work. His voice was sad. I asked him what didn’t work – was it the words or how he was feeling that didn’t work.
Both, he said.
Then, James talked about a cartoon that has dudes for each of the elements: fire, water, wind and earth – Shaolin (sp?) Showdown, I think.
We talked about how three of the elements can put out a fire. He held up his hand with four fingers out and said, once you understand the four elements, you get the fifth one.
What is that?
It’s the mystery.
You mean, like magic?
Yeah.
What would you pray for, I asked.
To change my circle of life he said.
What does that mean?
To change me. To have a better life.
You are perfect and your better life is already here.
No answer.
I love you, James.
I know.